Breastfeeding is hard. Like hard, hard. I wasn’t expecting how difficult it was going to be. Before having my first baby, I really thought it was going to come natural to me. I had only ever heard that women loved breastfeeding, they had no issues, and they were able to breastfeed for the full 2 years. Yeah, heck no. It was by far the hardest thing that could have come out of my first week of being a Mama.
When my daughter was born, that first “golden hour” we were in awe at what had just happened. My husband and I just sat and stared at her. I had no idea that we probably should have been trying to get her to latch. We were caught up in the moment, and just tried to soak it all in. And while I don’t regret doing that, and trying to slow the morning down for us, I do think if we spent the extra time to get her to latch, my breastfeeding journey would have been a bit easier.
We didn’t latch that whole first day. I pumped with my spectra (https://amzn.to/3Rvuquh), we filled syringes (https://amzn.to/4jJcV5L) and we syringe fed her for the first couple days. Thankfully, I had syringes of milk on hand from had expressing prior to delivering. This really helped me feel prepared, and get my colostrum to come in really well before Adah was born. I particularly like the syringes I have linked because they have sealed caps for each one, making it really easy to just pop them in the freezer. I also labelled them with a date with a piece of scotch tape so that I could keep track of which to use first. You could also get something like these colostrum collectors (https://amzn.to/44wKdk3), however, it only comes with 6 of these. I filled close to twenty 1mL syringes before my daughter was born, so I would have had to buy 4 sets of the squeeze collectors.
After a day of syringe feeding her at the house, the midwife came by for our 24 hour checks. She tried to help with latching Adah, but when we didn’t have any luck with any of the tricks she had, she recommended my husband run out and buy some nipple shields from Walmart. It was Christmas Eve and they were the only place open with some available, and lucky for us, there was one set left (https://amzn.to/4lH4REl). When he got back, the midwife showed us how to use them, and we got Adah to latch!! I was so proud of us, and felt like our lives were going to get so much easier.
…And then it didn’t. The nipple shields only worked for a few feeds. I was so devastated. So back to pumping I went. I continued to try to latch for every feeding, and it worked about half the time. It was only when she was tired and about to take a nap, and only in a really dark room in one specific position. I began scouring the internet for other solutions. My mom then recommended I try another brand of nipple shields. So we bought a few of them and finally, the Momcozy ones (https://amzn.to/3RWPhXw) worked the best for us! She latched for every feeding with the shields, and was able to complete full feedings using that shield.
After we got breastfeeding going and her latch “perfected,” I started to look at how to start building a freezer stash so that when I went back to work in 12 short weeks, I would have a bit to fall back on in case pumping couldn’t keep up (which, come to find out, is a very common thing). My best tip for this is feeding on one breast, and pumping the other during, or right after. If you leak from the opposite breast like most women do, you can also look at getting some sort of milk collector like this one (https://amzn.to/4jM4SFp). I did not leak while Adah was eating, so I only used this a few times during the first week, and then gave them to a friend who was also breastfeeding at the same time I was. There are tons of videos online with how to place them properly if you have any questions about it.
But you know what? Breastfeeding HURTS. Until your body gets used to it, its a pain like I’ve never experienced. So many people (including the three lactation consultants I had appointments with) will tell you that “if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.” And then they studied my latch, how we used the shields, and the positions I fed her in, and they told me I was doing it right. I’m just one of the people that it hurts, I guess. And if it doesn’t hurt you at the beginning, how wonderful! I envy your experience. But these silverette nursing cups (https://amzn.to/3RoyAEe) helped SO MUCH. Anytime I couldn’t just hang out without a shirt on, those were in place, and quickly healed my skin until I had to feed her again. They were my biggest life saver.
Because I nursed and pumped, the combo nursing bras were my favorite!! I tried so many different ones – cheap and expensive. These (https://amzn.to/4ikk0IJ) were my favorite! So buttery soft and easy to clean. The multiple layers fold together so well when you are moving pieces to be able to nurse, and the pads pop right back into place when you’re done. I will recommend these to anyone, and have even bought some as gifts for my friends.
Here’s the part no one tells you about breastfeeding – your nipple changes so many times throughout your breastfeeding journey. I would have never guessed that the size, elasticity, and width changes. You can get a kit like this (https://amzn.to/4jKNO2p) to be able to size your nipples throughout your time and be able to change flanges while you’re pumping. Anytime my supply seemed to dip when pumping, I knew it was because my pump pieces needed to be exchanged, or that my flange size needed to be adjusted. I like this kit because it comes with different flange size inserts, the sizer, and a cleaning device to assist in cleaning them.
All in all, I do not regret breastfeeding my daughter in the slightest. It was the best decision for my family, and I am so glad that I got through the rough beginning of it to be able to conquer a year goal, and even make it to 14 months. Adah decided to wean herself, which I know would be a blessing for some. I miss it now. Even with how difficult it was, and how many times I wanted to quit, I wish she wouldn’t have weaned, and my supply wouldn’t have dried. I would still be pumping for her one bottle a day if I could. I loved (mostly) breastfeeding, and plan to do it for any other children I have. I pray that you find enough joy in it to continue, and are able to find some relief with the products and tips I provided to conquer your goals as well.
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